chapter twenty six

I’ll be honest.

I’ve felt a bit…confused the past couple days. Like a big road block was put in my way even though I knew – and I KNOW – that 2016 is going to be an incredible year for me. I told myself that. I felt it in my soul the second I took a fresh breath of air January 1st.

I felt like my life and my perspective were getting better, that I was trying my hardest and applying myself more and more even though it never seemed to stick. Even though it never seemed quite enough.

Sometimes I think I try to be a bit too empathetic. It makes me too paranoid about what I’m thinking, what others are thinking, and what effect I have on them or their intentions for or against me.

Basically, my mind is on overdrive. If only it would take a snooze more often and allow my actions to speak…que sera sera.

Generally, I’ve felt a change this year though. I really have. This shift that I took in, this mentality that has kept me empowered and strong for these first few weeks of the year.

I think more often than not people get caught up on “doing the right thing” and “taking the right path” when you feel like you’re stuck at a crossroads.

I hate that feeling, and I’ve felt it way too much. It’s all a part of growing up…making strong choices that truly impact your life.

Sucks, doesn’t it?

If only there was a way to always know what path was ultimately better for you. Sometimes the instant gratification of a solution, does not completely solve the problem. Sometimes picking the easiest choice now will not help you in the future.

I’ve been on very clean roads and bumpy roads that might as well have been made of quicksand, I fail so hard, haha!

But I learn.

And now I see. I feel more knowledgeable and stronger for whatever next crossroad I’m presented with in life.

So the times I’ve hesitated this year so far, I’ve drawn solace from some reminders and inspirations of mine.

I’ve looked down at my necklace, which by the way THANK YOU ALL for your purchases on it (I ordered more yay – sorry for the online confusion/errors, they are available still!), but most of all your support on what the necklace stands for. I’ve seen comments from everyone, and that is the most inspirational thing.

At the end of the day, my last blog post might sound dramatically feminist, my rose gold necklace of a women symbol might seem pointed and biased, but it lives on as MORE than its appearance, just as we as people do.

What does it mean to me?

Inner beauty that is so bright it shines outwardly.

Inner strength that will not allow you to self-destruct.

Malleability to change and work with your current situations to find the best possible you.

Power most importantly within yourself, not necessarily over others.

You in your simplest form, perhaps small in appearance but still inherently lovely.

Fortitude. Don’t let people make you feel insignificant or unworthy.

We all have these powers, it only matters how we choose to use them. Whether we choose to be swallowed up in pessimism, live out our actions with hate, or ride out the wave.

Taylor Swift was incredibly inspirational in her Grammy acceptance speech this past weekend (and yes, by the way the Grammys were AMAZING!!!! STEVIE WONDER….no words for how special that was. And WOW, two-time Grammy winners…so proud of Pentatonix).

“There are going to be people along the way who will try to undercut your success, or take credit for your accomplishments, or your fame, but if you just focus on the work, and you don’t let those people sidetrack you, some day when you get where you’re going you’ll look around and you will know that it was you, and the people who love you who put you there, and that will be the greatest feeling in the world.”

Focus on where you’re going, where you want to be! You make the change.

Maybe you don’t know where you’re going…maybe you have dreams but aren’t quite sure how to get there.

All I can say, is work hard. Stay positive. I feel it’s so easy to get jaded nowadays.

All you can offer the world is the best you. And the best thing you can do for yourself is to have a sound and nurtured mind, body, and soul to be the best you.

So maybe life directions can be a bit daunting. A little confusing.

But this is your time to shine. Don’t allow anyone to say it’s not. But work for what you want. Prove you want it.

And lift each other up along the way, because you never know how inspiring or empowering your position might be and the influence it can have on others.

I must thank my Mom for being a constant source of love and support for me, for giving up the world and more to put me first so I could achieve success.

I must thank Jeremy for showing me how to be strong and helping me find solace and direction when I felt there was none.

The rest of my family for loving me unconditionally and being there when I faltered, and when I will continue to do so.

My friends who ground me more than they could ever know.

My creative inspirations for trailblazing and inspiring as they climbed to success.

Pentatonix, for this incredible journey and opportunities I never felt confident enough to pursue until now.

You all. For your love. Your support. A simple tweet sending me puppies or cheese when I had a bad day. Sending your love when you didn’t even realize how much I needed it.

Thank you. For you.



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