chapter twenty seven

I won’t pretend to know all the facts, especially as it seems contradictions are leaking in.

And I loathe assumptions, although sometimes I am guilty of doing them.

But as someone that seeks to empower women and everyone to face their battles head on and not let others diminish their success and light, I have to talk about Kesha.

I’ve seen many be empathetic and supportive of her through her hard times. I’ve seen some people criticize the amount of time it has taken her to come forward and be honest about her position.

As someone that didn’t used to be honest with others or most importantly herself, I completely understand why this is being brought up now as opposed to at the beginning of a nineteen-year old’s career.

Nineteen.

I was very easily and heavily influenced by people I thought were my mentors or my friends when I was nineteen. You’re a supposed adult but I was still such a child, attempting to understand and clarify my beliefs and priorities.

My only priority then?

Doing everything I could to not feel alone. Doing everything I could to feel like I was on the right track in life surrounded by exactly what I should be as someone with dreams like mine, even though I felt quite opposite. Assimilating in to a culture to feel a part of something, even though it did not align with who I wanted to be.

I think everyone comes in to themselves at different times, though. There’s not a static obvious period in your life where you “grow up.”

But regardless being young with your future in the hands of very powerful people, you don’t know what to do. Your dreams align with something you don’t necessarily agree with but it is your shot, so do you take it?

Sad to say, so much of the business, so much of life is manipulating your way in to making sure you can control an outcome. Figuring out people so you know the exact way you can get to them later if needed.

You may think, wow, how incredibly pessimistic. It is.

But all I know is while I didn’t care for “playing the game” others were, and someone willing to play the game will always win over someone that hopes it doesn’t have to be like that. It did me no good to try to be naïve to something I knew was a part of life.

Strengths. Weaknesses.

Being an insecure nineteen-year old, I knew I had my share of weaknesses. Lots of my own vastly diminished my strengths more than other people did. That goes back to having a good outlook on life and adjusting perspective.

So looking at this case, who most manipulated whom?

We don’t really know.

I don’t know what is true or what will be revealed later.

I mean, geez, if a few years in to my career I was put on the stand against the one person that held my future in his hands, I’d do everything to placate him. It’s easy for the people in charge of your future to hold it against you to get what they want.

Adversely, this could be an over dramatization of working with someone that has exhausted her, that has formed her in to this image that she just wants to break free of; memories, restrictions, image, everything.

I don’t really want to make excuses for either side to justify reasons that are deplorable and hateful either way.

But instead of spreading hate with facts you have no evidence of and because you are not directly involved in the situation yourself, don’t cast blame on someone that maybe didn’t know how to handle her situation, to whatever degree of awful it was.

Rape is not a joke.

It is not something to be addressed lightly.

To suggest that men are idiots and could easily be caught on tape, so why didn’t Kesha make sure to record all the bad things that happened to her is freaking ridiculous.

It infuriates me that a woman would make fun of another woman for not standing up for herself. The lack of empathy does not inspire or help women in this situation AT ALL.

In the heat of the moment, people get scared. They feel trapped. People don’t know what the hell to do.

And you know what? At the end of the day, people that may have been “victims” of something perhaps don’t want to become one.

So what’s worse? Telling the truth and bearing all the backlash against you openly or not saying anything and living with it for the rest of your life?

Don’t assign Kesha these attributes to make her the perfect victim.

Whatever amount of harassment she’s already been through is enough. She doesn’t need people weighing in on why or why not all the bad things that happened to her happened.

I don’t blame someone for wanting to get away from something that carries negative memories. They probably haunt her daily.

And don’t judge others on the latency or degree in which they are speaking out for her. Everyone is entitled to their own opinion and allowed to act and respond in whatever fashion they deem best.

So instead of all this judging, let’s focus on the main issue. Kesha.

And way more than that, just support for something that shouldn’t be taken lightly.

Something that is incredibly real and should neither be joked about or faked.

I can’t imagine feeling so powerless to something of that extreme.

For this to either happen to her or to be dramatized in this way.

Feeling powerless and afraid in your life is not fun. So how do you step up and take control of your situation?

Where would you draw the line?

Love,

Kirstin

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