chapter twenty five

Alright.

I’m about to rant for a second or twenty.

For anyone that will brush this off as some oversaturated feminist post because of the examples I’m about to rant on, I must insist how incorrect you are. Incorrect, because more than my desire to empower women and young girls to feel strong and beautiful on their own accord, is my advocacy for all humans to embrace themselves and their qualities with confidence.

It’s not just about females. It’s not just about males. It’s not just about the LGBTQ community, heterosexuals, or people of different races.

It’s about everyone.

Remember, you are entitled to nothing. You don’t deserve anything. You work for it.

The past is a great example of how much society curtailed people’s potential based on their gender, race, etc. To continue to view the world in segregated groups that have these qualities but not these, that are stereotyped because of labels people have thrown on them, is an aged thought process that seems to be back on the rise nowadays.

But is it back on the rise or are people isolating themselves in to these groups to feel united, thus ultimately shutting the rest of the world out and confirming outside viewpoints?

Emma Watson brought up a great point, in my opinion. I personally love her view on feminism, where instead of acting like feminism is women vs. men, she encourages men to empower women and vice versa. To make them equals as opposed to divided enemies. To form common ideals.

“Both men and women should feel free to be sensitive. Both men and women should feel free to be strong.

It’s time that we all see gender as a spectrum, instead of two sets of opposing ideals. We should stop defining each other by what we are not, and start defining ourselves by who we are.”

Loooooove that.

I really hate classifying people based on an outward appearance they have (gender, race, etc.). I hate when men have to apologize or feel ashamed for being emotional. I hate how the beauty ideal for women is so pronounced to make some truly beautiful girls feel ugly and insignificant.

I hate that both genders have to live up to these standards, that men MUST provide and not be weak and women MUST nurture and keep up appearances. I hate when either side antagonizes each other.

Let’s take blogger RooshV for instance.

I’m sure most of you have seen the insensitive and demeaning prattle he’s splayed all over his own website, his patriarchal Return of Kings site (ew at the title), and social media. You’re either offended or think the entire thing is comically ludicrous. I feel a bit of both, but perhaps because I find it hard to believe a man can write so many incredibly offensive things about women.

RooshV advocates “neomasculinity,” which is basically a patriarchal belief that men far surpass women and that men and women do indeed have two sets of opposing ideals that should stay entirely separate.

He and his followers have dedicated their time to hundreds of blog posts since 2012 with topics such as “How Men Are Being Socialized to Act Like Women,” “Women Must Have Their Behavior and Decisions Controlled by Men,” “6 Qualities of a Good Rape Scene,” and the now all popular “How to Stop Rape” which suggests a solution of making rape legal if done on private property.

Come on…

To be honest, I’m all for him embracing his beloved masculinity, just not at the cost of demeaning the opposite sex, or really anyone. You should never have to bring someone else down to point out qualities or characteristics that you are or should be.

While I disagree with practically all his views, he does bring up very few points that make me understand his opinion a bit. There are realistically no openly “pro-men” activists nowadays, and as you can see the second there is one EVERYONE jumps down their throats in disbelief. There isn’t a scholarship for being an intelligent, white male, but there seems to be one for everything else. I get it, but only to a point, okay? And regardless of if I see a tiny bit where he’s coming from, it’s no reason to make anyone else (females) feel any less.

Now he seems to be backpedaling and retracting most of his former statements about his viewpoints of “pro-rape” and “no means no until it means yes.”

The meetings that were scheduled for this Saturday are now cancelled because the men felt unsafe. The irony of that kills me, seeing as how I saw so many women reach out to each other this week warning each other to be careful this weekend.

RooshV insists that media has taken his satirical standpoint out of hand and that his avid followers are not “pro-rape” or misogynist a-holes.

So let’s pretend this is all a big satire, that his entire website that spouts these ideals is fake. I could only hope that it actually would be.

So then why would he write such condescending and offensive standpoints over and over again?

“If rape becomes legal under my proposal, a girl will protect her body in the same manner that she protects her purse and smartphone.”

Yikes, insensitive.

“Without daddy government to protect her, a girl would absolutely not enter a private room with a man she doesn’t know or trust unless she is absolutely sure she is ready to sleep with him.”

So women must assume they are a constant sexual object and live in an uncertain state of mind that they can be taken advantage of?

“Traits possessed by men in greater percentage than women: dominance, independence, intelligence, rationale, analytical thinking.

Traits possessed by women in greater percentage than men: submissiveness, dependence, emotional nature, faster intuition, cooperative sharing.

The idea of “gender equality” is a myth that has no scientific basis.”

Hm. I won’t even start on that commentary.

So if these hundreds of articles are all satire, are the comments all fake too of people agreeing with him?

There are two sides of course. I’m sure some women are malicious with this sensitive topic, but so are the men that actually attempt to force aggression and superiority on to a woman.

I’m used to hearing men in my life talk about girls like they’re objects. What this guy did to this girl, or how big her boobs were, or what he would do to her if he had a chance.

It makes me so sad.

Most of these conversations started as jokes perhaps like RooshV’s, but after a while, is it really all that funny? To disrespect a woman’s integrity by boasting about what you’ll do to her?

I don’t know. I’m not pretending to not have enjoyed being lusted over at a time to a certain degree, but I have more self-respect than letting people take advantage of me anymore.

I hope you all do to.

I hope you, women and men, know that you should never let people objectify you. You are worth way more than to let people use you, just because them using you makes you feel like you’re a part of something.

I hope you know you’re beautiful and strong. That the people that sit on these pedestals with their proclaimed this is attractive, this is right, this is wrong, this is how you should act, this is whatever are imperfect as well. I hope their twisted viewpoints empower you even more just because of how ridiculous they are.

I hope you stay confident and proud, just like Ariel Winter at the SAG awards. She received some backlash about wearing a dress that showed her breast reduction scars. She tweeted that of course you saw her scars, that she didn’t make an effort to hide them because she was not ashamed. She was proud of them. She wanted people to know.

I saw her pictures. All I could see was how beautiful and happy she looked.

What matters other than that?

I had to rant about all this because it made me so incredibly frustrated. I could honestly write 10,000 words pointing out all the horrible things that were said in RooshV’s blogs. Believe me, there’s plenty.

Yet, pointing out what a pig he is misses the point. (Teehee, still kind of did it though, sorry).

More than that, I don’t want men to feed in to this social idea that women are categorized as having a, b, c qualities and that’s all they amount to. More than that, I don’t want women to be in fear that all men think like this, or that maybe they do have to do x, y, z to amount to something. Humans are way too complex to not have a spectrum of characteristics, good and bad.

So whatever your characteristics may be, be comfortable in your own skin.

It took me a long time to find the comfort, and I am still on an upward journey. As someone that has always attempted to be complacent and kind, it’s easy to get trampled on or get ridiculed the second I do try to stand up for myself. Whether that’s a sexism issue or a power issue, I’m not quite sure.

These issues will always come up every now and then in life. Free speech, after all.

So now that you’ve seen it, don’t hang on to all the crap from this guy. His hate definitely fueled my motivation to be a strong, empowered individual. It made me want to profess over and over how important it is to love yourselves. How important it is to accept who you are, good qualities and bad.

No one will ever fall completely in to a perfect category. You are multi-faceted and that is the way it should be, with you choosing your own interests as opposed to letting some standard dictate how you should or should not be.

You are interesting and unique.

You are so powerful.

You are so beautiful.

You are so strong.

All of you.

Love,

Kirstin

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