I’ve written this chapter before. Weeks ago.
I sat on my bed, journal in hand, and thought, “What do I want to tell the world? What’s the best way to introduce me and what I want to achieve with my words?”
So, I put my pen to paper and breathed life to the ink. I wrote and wrote and wrote. And I was happy, happy because I used to write all the time. My own stories, fan fiction, anything…anything to create a beautiful journey that was bigger than I could ever be.
After my hand had cramped and my cursive had become a little illegible, I stopped, satisfied. I had a story, a story of a girl who projected that she was mature, that she had a good handle on this crazy world when in fact she was naïve. In fact, she had no idea how to appropriately handle herself when she got in to tough situations and decisions, which unfortunately for her, was all the time.
I created this story. The story about me: Kirstin Maldonado.
It was all true, every word infused with positivity and hope to inspire others to learn from my journey and mistakes. That is still my biggest hope for you all.
“What do I want to achieve? What do I want to say? Is this it?”
I was having “one of those days.” The night before I had slept very little, and my mind was preoccupied, stressing over impending events and deadlines I had to meet. A car was taking me to my apartment, where I had to quickly finish packing before heading to the airport. I was heading to Texas for the weekend. Thoughts of my family, my old bed, and my humble home kept me present, even though I felt exhausted from everything around me.
I had a realization then, and the timing couldn’t have been more perfect.
As my head leaned against the doorframe, I was transfixed by the world flying by and the moving piano piece that accompanied it… The drastic dynamics shifting from a whispering piano to screaming fortissimo within seconds, lilting arpeggios tapering out to the ends which drifted away into nothingness… CVS Pharmacy had really outdone themselves with their hold music.
(Some of you may know exactly what I’m talking about and may be making fun of me right now… For those of you who are now going to call the pharmacy just to be put on hold…I might have over dramatized it a bit. Don’t judge me, haha!).
On this day, it was the perfect soundtrack for my journey home.
I’d become a wallflower to the wondrous world. The sunny sky was so blue, the grass seemed fresh and bright emerald green. Buildings towered over me and life was buzzing on the sidewalks, in the trees, in the sky.
For a second it didn’t seem like the busy Los Angeles I have called home for a few years now. Everything seemed at ease. Everything was in its place and carefree. I thought to myself, “Wow. Look how beautiful the world is.”
How lucky for me that I’d been put on hold for so long as to take a pause from my hectic and self-centered life to glance out at the beautiful day. To look outside my own issues and find the everyday beauty that’s right outside the window.
I realized I have no desire to introduce you to a girl who preaches maturity, nor take you on a journey through an intense, un-relatable coming of age story. I am very fortunate in this life to be doing what I love, to be singing and exploring the world. I am blessed to have opportunity that not everyone gets, and I am humbled and strengthened by my experiences with this.
“What do I want to achieve? What do I want to say?” This is it:
I have made thousands of mistakes… and yes, there have been times when I have projected maturity and successfully handled tough decisions, but that’s not the story I wish to share. I don’t need to compile my mistakes and craft some parable for you guys. I’m sure you don’t even want to hear that story. Instead, I want to bring you along on a journey. My journey.
So that, my friends, is what this website is all about. Join me every week, to smile, laugh, cry… I hope you find inspiration and motivation while learning more about me, but perhaps most importantly, learn something about yourself along the way!
This is a story of a girl, my story. I look forward to sharing it with you.
Until next week!
P.S. Yes… I somehow always surround myself with puppies.
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